Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Use this area to seek or offer guidance on specific training or behavioural matters.
nanapott
Posts: 104
Joined: 22 Feb 2012, 18:55
Location: Suffolk

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by nanapott » 23 Jan 2013, 18:54

Hi Pete

Congratulations on your new pup. It is really hard work isn't it? Just a thought...you say that you got her a week and a half ago and that she's 13 weeks. Did you get her from a breeder? You might get a better idea of her behaviour if you find out a bit more of her history. What were her sleeping arrangements before you picked her up. Did all the litter leave the breeder late? If she's never been crate trained or confined before, that could be why you're having a tricky time with her at 13 weeks. I'm definitely no expert and someone with more knowledge might not agree but it might just mean that as she's a little older, the whole crate and confined space idea will take longer especially as she's now associating it with being alone. It think it'd be worth going back to where you got her and asking for some guidance. Good luck.
Image Image

Anna and Wilfred

tillytubbie
Posts: 1237
Joined: 08 Aug 2010, 12:35

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by tillytubbie » 23 Jan 2013, 19:49

Good luck with your new addition, the advice given is great :)

But, to be brutally honest: getting a doodle puppy that will be very hyperactive, hard-work, attention seeking and nip and mouth (as do all puppies), when you have a young child, work full-time and have no experience with dogs probably wasn't the best idea.

However, there is no reason why it can't and shouldn't work. Going to classes and maybe a doggy daycare is a great idea.

Keep us posted :)

PS - Please do not take my comment the wrong way - we are all here to support each other :)
Image
Image Image Image

hockborn
Posts: 596
Joined: 23 Jul 2012, 19:33
Location: Durham

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by hockborn » 23 Jan 2013, 20:38

When we first got our Doods I bought 2 as they would keep eacother company whilst i was out during the day. Peoples views on this differ greatly however I have to say it worked out beautifully as they are well rounded fantastic dogs. We bought another goldedoodle puppy called Louis- God what a change ( people on the forum will know exactly what he gets up to!! :lol: :lol: :lol: ). I had to use tough love with him when it came to bed times. (i think it is the PE teacher in me!!) anyway after a few nights where I did not give in he finally calmed down. I know you have the baby etc but to give it a go for a few days and stopping will make a rod for your own back!! - think 1 week of dread faced with a lifetime of howling!!!!!!! With your young baby he sees this as another puppy and will get to rough and tumble as he does not see this as an alpha type person. He is only young and I promise things will get better but it will take time. Don't feel gulity when you see him or make too much of a fuss over him when you return - infact ignore him until he is more sedate and then acknowlege him. You will get to know the times he will become more hyper- when he is hungry, tired or even in play he will become over excited. As he is a young pup he cannot yet calm himself down, therefore you may get the nips and mouthing and launching at things- this will pass. good luck

blueboysgirl
Posts: 1804
Joined: 08 Jul 2010, 08:12
Location: Cambridge

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by blueboysgirl » 23 Jan 2013, 21:45

Hi there, and welcome to the forum.
I can only help by telling you my journey with my unruly mutt. I completely see where you're coming from, and I'm now remembering a lot of tough times, reading your posts.

Bruno is my first dog, and he was a HUGE shock to the system to say the least.
I've thought about rehoming several times throughout his first year, as, with two boisterous boys, he did get very clumsy and hurt them a lot, without meaning to, but through his sheer excitement.

We crated for two nights, then gave up as he would go absolutely nuts, messing the crate with runny poo and getting so stressed out. We started shutting him in the livingroom during times when we were out.

Citronella oil on hard surfaces helped with unwanted chewing.

If you really can't cope, it's best to rehome now, so pup has a chance to correct it's behaviour.

If you choose to stick with it, then come on here loads to chat, ask, vent, boast :lol: to your hearts content. Nobody here will judge you.

Now, at 2yrs and 8 months, I leave Bruno for between 5-6 hours pe3r day during the week, without too much trouble, and he has the run of the house. (apart from the kitchen as he has figured out how to open EVERY SINGLE bin we have bought :evil: .

My boys, aged 6 and 7, are his bestest buddies, and he is so gentle and considerative of them (if that's even a word).

They wrestle, run, pull, poke, chase, and he joins in, but very carefully. I know this, as when my hubby plays the same games with him, Bruno is so much rougher with him than with my boys. I completely trust Bruno with them. It took time to get him this way, a lot of shutting him in the downstairs loo when he'd done wrong, a lot of positive re-inforcement, puppy socialising classes and training exersises to tire him.

It does take time, effort, tears, sleepless nights, angry words, but I think my dog is a credit to me and my family. He's still VERY naughty, but his heart is pure gold. From what you have said, your pup's heart is too.
Claire and Bruno
ImageImage
Image

Calgary
Posts: 178
Joined: 20 Aug 2012, 20:52
Location: North Essex

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by Calgary » 23 Jan 2013, 22:18

Wow - what a lot of advice!

We felt shell shocked when we got Callie at 7 weeks old, having never had a dog before. She didn't like her crate so we borrowed a bay's playpen from a friend so that she could have her bed in their as well as room for playing. Once we realised she wasn't a destructive doodle (I hope I haven't spoken too soon!) we allowed her the run of the kitchen whenI am at work (4 hours a day, term time only) and then we progressed to allowing her the run of the hallway too.

Our children are older (8 and 10) but were equally unkeen on all the initial jumping, play biting etc, and my husband used to grab Callie by the scruff of the neck and gently push her to the floor so he was dominant, and use what we call his 'Darth Vader voice' to say no. He would hold her there for a few seconds until he sensed she had calmed down and then release her and praise her as soon as possible for behaviour we wanted.

From our experience, it does get easier! Callie is now 7 months old and although not perfect (will she ever get the hang of recall?) we wouldn't be without her :)
Image

Denydoodle
Posts: 90
Joined: 29 Oct 2012, 08:13
Location: Eastbourne

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by Denydoodle » 23 Jan 2013, 22:40

Hi,

Not sure I can add much other than to tell you how we are dealing with Roobarb. We got him at 7.5 weeks old, he is now nearly 20 weeks old.

He is our first dog, and I have a 7 yr old and a just turned 2 yr old. Roobarb is lucky that my OH works from home so he is only left alone for short periods, so I can't advise you on how to deal with the seperation anxiety. Tim has a studio in the garden when Roobarb goes with him during the day.

We decided when we got him not to use a crate, mainly as I didn't want a big thing stuck in my kitchen, but we did ensure he had his bed in a quietish spot. The first 2 nights he cried but after that settled ok.

We also decided that we would keep him in the kitchen (when he isn't in the studio) when the kids were awake so as to let them play without being leapt on, and so their toys weren't eaten. It also meant Roobarb has quiet time and isn't being pulled about by the 2 yr old (she does try and ride him, pull him about etc). When they play with him it is in the kitchen under our supervision so they all learn the rules. He is very good with them and quite gentle now. We use a stair gate so he can hear and see us and we can talk to him.

When the kids are in bed and all toys are away then Roobarb is allowed in the lounge with us.

I also have a rule of no dog on furniture, no dog upstairs, and definitely no licking of faces! The kids must also wash their hands after playing with him.

Quite strict, but Roobarb doesn't know any different and he is settling in to our home very well.

I did wonder if we did the right thing when we got him, but after a few weeks everything came good and he is now part of the family...I hope this helps

User avatar
Ben
Posts: 746
Joined: 30 Jul 2008, 13:51
Location: Manchester

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by Ben » 23 Jan 2013, 23:01

You have had some great advice and I do hope that you can attend some puppy classes and you can long term enjoy family and puppy time together.

My worry is that in another week or two puppy will start teething, this means that she will want to chew and bite on anything she can lay her jaws onto, ie woodwork, wires, childrens toys, even excitedly leaping up and biting your hands and very possibly your babies hands if they are on the floor together. Sorry but this could happen, it isnt the puppy being aggressive or naughty but a stage every dog goes through and i'm sure most owners on her will agree to the sharpness of puppy teeth.

After 6months to 2yrs your puppy will grow and grow and demand more stimulation.

After 2yrs you will have a lovely dog, but it does need persistence, patience and kindness.

If this post worries you, I would contact your breeder and look to return your puppy, or speak to Labradoodle Trust.
Image

Sarah Bevan
Posts: 892
Joined: 10 Apr 2011, 19:46
Location: Hampshire

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by Sarah Bevan » 23 Jan 2013, 23:01

You are very brave - we have wanted a dog for years but waited till our youngest was 11years old before we got Jessie, the thought of training a pup with a toddler would have sent me round the bend!

Lots of good advice on here, as someone has already said, If it is really not for you it would not be fair to delay rehoming. But if you really want it to work out you will find a way, dogs will fit into any situation as long as their needs are met.
Sarah and Jessie
Image
Image

Clairejen
Posts: 2995
Joined: 29 Oct 2009, 16:31
Location: Kings Lynn

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by Clairejen » 24 Jan 2013, 12:42

May I ask why you decided a labradoodle was right for your family, and whether you are experienced dog owners? And how do you feel about her - I didn't get any indication of this from your post.

Is your dog a full sized doodle? If so the pup will grow very quickly and if you think she is lively now just see what a few months will bring.

I would urge you to consider whether you really want this dog, if you do then please find some day care for her, this would give her company and exercise while you are at work so she will be calmer and happier in the evenings with you. The amount of time she is left alone in her crate is way too much imo, although others may disagree with me.
Claire
slave of Leon & Sally
Image Image

User avatar
Anne Wozniak
Posts: 446
Joined: 04 Aug 2009, 19:12

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by Anne Wozniak » 24 Jan 2013, 17:31

Clairejen wrote:May I ask why you decided a labradoodle was right for your family, and whether you are experienced dog owners? And how do you feel about her - I didn't get any indication of this from your post.

Is your dog a full sized doodle? If so the pup will grow very quickly and if you think she is lively now just see what a few months will bring.

I would urge you to consider whether you really want this dog, if you do then please find some day care for her, this would give her company and exercise while you are at work so she will be calmer and happier in the evenings with you. The amount of time she is left alone in her crate is way too much imo, although others may disagree with me.
well said Claire,
puppies need a lot of time and energy spent on them, they need lots of training too.
Labradoodles are very bright dogs .... you'll need keep on top of the training or they'll soon be doing "their own thing"

.....also, I have to say, I don't agree with dogs being crated for long periods of time, ok for a couple of hours while you pop out, but no more
these are just my thoughts...
hope things settle down for you
Image

Pauline
Posts: 1502
Joined: 28 Oct 2007, 18:02
Location: Fareham

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by Pauline » 24 Jan 2013, 21:24

Hi
You've had some great help & advice.
I have two labradoodles who enjoy each others company, however they are 5 & 4 yrs old & still very bouncy. They are also very energetic & need a couple of walks a day totalling nearly 2 hours of exercise, I wonder how you are going to manage to do walks when you have a young child & work fulltime?
As others have said they can be very intelligent & need stimulating to keep them occupied.
They are such sociable dogs but they do need a lot of training & time spent with them. I have two young grand children (2&4) who they are great with as long as they don't mind them kissing them!!
The biggest one still thinks that everyone loves them & if shown attention will kiss & jump at them - I have to admit that I didn't work hard enough with him when he was small - & I was home with him all day.

It's not an easy decision for you but I hope you are able to make the right one for you all.

Pauline
ps I have to say I'm a bit surprised that your breeder didn't give you more info on what doodles can be like & was happy to place a puppy with you when you have a young child & work fulltime
Image

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

mr_cc
Posts: 3
Joined: 23 Jan 2013, 14:13

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by mr_cc » 12 Apr 2013, 10:09

Thought I would update this and thank everyone for their advice.

At the time, as a family we decided to give it a month, to see if things settled down, and rehome her if things were still bad. And thankfully they did get better pretty quickly.

Those first few weeks were sheer hell , at one point I even advertised her for rehomein, but a few changes in how we did things seemed to fix most things.

We stopped crating the dog altogether at night, allowing her to sleep in our hall downstairs. This had the disadvantage that it seemed to (temporarily) ruin our toilet training, but had the advantage that there was no whining at all.

I got a webcam so I could watch what she did when we left her alone in her fenced off bit of our kitchen, and it showed that she was whining and barking for a few minutes, then settling down and going to sleep or starting to play with chew toys etc.. (i think she wasnt really bothered - it was a bit of emotional blackmail) this made us feel a lot better about leaving her. This whining got better very quickly. We eventually were forced to stop confining her in her fenced off area in the kitchen, as she figured out how to escape! It was quite impressive to see her jump clear over the baby gate several times her height on the camera.

The end result is the dog has a lot more freedom and now the whining stuff has completely stopped.

Also she is now much calmer with members of our family, and has formed some kind of alliance with our little girl, who sneaks her little bits of food, and they play together quite well.

She still isnt perfect (and I dont think she will ever be!) she has destroyed the carpet on our bottom step despite it being soaked in citronella. We also often come back to a shredded newspaper or book - but we dont mind this so much. She is still jumping up to greet strangers (but generaly not us) and is excessively excited when around other dogs (always playfully - but the other owners generally dont like her jumping all over their dogs) Training her to do new stuff seems very easy, but as soon as she sees other dogs, she is uncontrollable. Recall is still a big issue. I would love to let her off the lead when we go for walks more often, but I dont trust her to come back when other dogs / people are around, she just latches on to them and im sure would go home with them if we let her!

Once again thanks everyone. It hasnt been easy, but she is getting better all the time, and is a firm member of the family now.

Pete

lizziesmum
Posts: 1611
Joined: 05 Nov 2009, 08:04
Location: South Derbyshire

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by lizziesmum » 12 Apr 2013, 11:23

Clairejen wrote:May I ask why you decided a labradoodle was right for your family, and whether you are experienced dog owners? And how do you feel about her - I didn't get any indication of this from your post.

Is your dog a full sized doodle? If so the pup will grow very quickly and if you think she is lively now just see what a few months will bring.

I would urge you to consider whether you really want this dog, if you do then please find some day care for her, this would give her company and exercise while you are at work so she will be calmer and happier in the evenings with you. The amount of time she is left alone in her crate is way too much imo, although others may disagree with me.


Totally agree with Claire,after the first day or say this pup should have won a place in your hearts,there's no sign of you loving her, have I missed her name?
We've seen before how pups that are left for hours on end turn into barkers,disturbing your neighbours, they can be extremely destructive and stuggle with social skills.
What if something goes wrong in the day?
It's alright watching her on camera but its company she needs, where do you live,have you asked on here and Your own freinds if someone would help you with her.
There must be professional dog care in your area.or near to your place of work.
I would like to think you try hard to overcome all of her puppy problems, and you don't give up on her, but this pup needs your time and the love that all pups crave.as a family you will have to meet your puppy's needs.
Good luck,your going to need it.
Image

Jay128
Posts: 1047
Joined: 18 Dec 2012, 06:31
Location: Liverpool

Re: Going out of my mind with 13 week puppy

Post by Jay128 » 12 Apr 2013, 13:41

I am so glad I was able to read your second post which shows that you are still trying to work with your Pup.
You have been given so much excellent advice in the posts above and in our house we found the exprience of the other users invaluable.
We got Our Poppy just before christmas at 8 weeks old. She was a handful and cried for sveral nights in the first week and we used tough love and blocked our ears. This was just because thats how ours dads had done it before us and although we knew it would be hard for us it worked, Poppy was clean at night from night 2. We crated her at night but only about twice during a week whilst we stayed at mother in laws house during her second week with us but at home she has always had the run of the kitchen and has never done any damage to anything.

We to work all day apart from school holidays but our son lives at home and works shifts so would play/train her at intervals during the day if his shifts fell right, but if not hubby came home for an hour at lunch.
Some people would say that she is to long on her own but she has access to the garden via a catflap and even when I am off school she sleeps alot during the day if I am in but busy shes asleep by my feet.
However when we come home Poppy is or priority, she is walked, played with, fed, trained, cuddled and trained again as she loves it. She goes shopping with us and at the weekend is only left when we go to church. Anyone who meets her and sees how focused she is on the family, friendly and is becoming well trained would have a job to argue that she is unhappy.
The difference is that we don't have a baby/toddler but I still feel with time and effort you can train you pup to become a sociable and happy member of your family.

I wish you well and am sure that with time and effort you will get there, its just hanging on in.
Where do you live as I'm sure those of us that could would help practically even if it is to get the pups together to run and play together.

This site is fantastic and although people may not always tell you what you want to hear with all the different input I have never failed to find a solution to help Poppy and I.

Have I missed the puppies name? :D
ImageImage

Post Reply